Is your heartbeat increasing rapidly in public places, Are you sweating a lot when going to some social gathering events or facing difficulties in talking while giving a presentation in front of people? Don’t worry you are not alone, these are the signs of Social Anxiety. Social anxiety is more than just feeling nervous in social settings—it’s an ongoing struggle that can make ordinary interactions feel daunting. For many, the fear of being judged or rejected creates a barrier to forming meaningful connections and pursuing opportunities. However, with the right tools and a shift in perspective, social anxiety can be managed effectively, allowing individuals to engage more confidently and authentically.
To explore practical ways to manage social anxiety, we reached out to experts in counseling, mindfulness, and personal development. Each shares unique insights and actionable advice to help you navigate social situations with ease and build lasting confidence. Let’s find out their practical ways to cope with the situation:
Table of Contents
The Role of Self-Awareness To Manage Social Anxiety
A key step in managing social anxiety is recognizing its triggers and understanding how it manifests. Building self-awareness helps create space for healthier responses, replacing reactive fear with thoughtful, intentional action. Experts emphasize the importance of knowing your strengths and acknowledging your worth to empower positive social interactions.
Expert Insights:
- Robin McIntire: Staying grounded with pre-event “white space” moments, such as deep breathing and visualization, helps foster calmness and sets the stage for confident interactions.
- Faith Dulin: Exploring the underlying emotions behind social anxiety, like insecurity or fear of judgment, builds a foundation for self-compassion and healing.
Mindfulness as a Tool for Calm and Connection
Mindfulness practices are transformative for managing social anxiety, grounding individuals in the present moment rather than allowing fears of the past or future to take over. Techniques like deep breathing, observation, and positive affirmations promote emotional balance and focus, enabling more meaningful social engagement.
Expert Insights:
- Cleo Martel: Mindfulness reduces the intensity of anxious thoughts by anchoring awareness to the present. Techniques like the 4-7-8 breathing exercises help regulate the body’s response to stress.
- Faith Dulin: Simple grounding exercises, like identifying environmental sounds or sights, calm racing thoughts, and redirecting focus during overwhelming moments.
Positive Thinking and Visualization To Manage Social Anxiety
Harnessing the mind’s ability to create empowering narratives is another cornerstone of overcoming social anxiety. Positive thinking and visualization allow individuals to rehearse successful social scenarios, building confidence and reducing fear in real-life situations.
Expert Insights:
- Robin McIntire: Visualizing yourself entering a room with confidence and forming meaningful connections can help reduce anticipatory anxiety.
- Cleo Martel: Positive affirmations, such as “I am worthy of being heard,” shift focus from self-doubt to self-assurance, reshaping inner dialogue.
Building Confidence To Manage Social Anxiety
While mindset shifts are critical, taking tangible steps to ease social anxiety creates measurable progress. Gradual exposure to challenging situations and the practice of compassionate self-reflection can transform how individuals approach social interactions.
Expert Insights:
- Laura Rosewell: Reframing negative self-perceptions as empowering thoughts, such as viewing mistakes as learning opportunities, fosters a more constructive mindset.
- Cleo Martel: Graded exposure to social settings, starting with smaller, manageable interactions, builds confidence over time.
Experts Practical Ways To Manage Social Anxiety
Managing social anxiety can feel overwhelming, but with the right guidance, it becomes a journey toward self-discovery and growth. Our featured experts bring diverse perspectives on managing social anxiety, combining science-backed strategies with mindful practices. In this section, they offer their unique insights and advice in their own words, empowering you to take steps toward a calmer, more confident you. Let’s explore their advice below to find strategies that resonate with you:
1. Biz Cush: Women Life Coach
Elizabeth Cush, LCPC, is a women’s life coach for highly sensitive women, a licensed clinical professional counselor, and a business owner. She’s also the host of the Awaken Your Wise Woman podcast. She incorporates the body, mind, and spirit into her work. She helps sensitive women who feel stressed and overwhelmed find balance, flow, and ease to fully enjoy their beautiful life. When she’s not working she’s traveling, spending time with her three sons, and hanging at the beach with her husband and dachshund Elvis. Visit Elizabeth Cush Coaching to know more about her.
Her Advice To Manage Social Anxiety:
Social anxiety affects over 15 million people in the US, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. And because asking for help is hard, many people who suffer don’t get the help they deserve.
Here are some signs if you think you might have social anxiety:
- You worry a lot about people judging you all the time.
- Those worries keep you from going out or doing new things.
- You were labeled as overly “shy” or an “introvert” when you were younger.
- You worry that you’ll humiliate or embarrass yourself in public.
- You feel like your worries are excessive or overblown.
- You feel very anxious or experience panic attacks when anticipating new experiences.
- You experience physical symptoms when there’s social event to attend, such as, increased heart rate, sweating, queasy stomach, or diarrhea.
If this sounds like you, know that you are not alone. You don’t have to continue to suffer. There is hope.
Anxiety stems from a fear response. It’s your mind and body telling you that there is danger and that it’s time to flee. For some people, social events and situations are the anxiety trigger. Your body and mind tell you that social situations aren’t safe, and that they might even be dangerous.
Just thoughts of going to an event can create anxiety, and make you feel physically and emotionally uncomfortable. So, to avoid that discomfort, you avoid the event. You might even rationalize that you didn’t really want to go anyway.
You can tell yourself 100 times that going to a party isn’t dangerous. You can yell at yourself for being overly cautious. You can list all the logical reasons that you shouldn’t be feeling this way. Unfortunately, these strategies don’t work very well, and you might end up feeling worse. Because now you feel bad about yourself too.
Here are some tips that can help:
- Take small steps. If a big event feels overwhelming, try something that feels more manageable.
- Take one step. If you’re meeting others for coffee, put on your shoes and see how that feels. Then take another step and see how you feel.
- Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Having social anxiety isn’t your fault.
- Be curious. When we’re curious we can see that we have choices. Maybe you go for a shorter time. Maybe you can leave early. Maybe it’s okay not to go, and you take time to take care of yourself instead.
- Talk to someone. A therapist or life coach can often help you understand you social anxiety, and work with you to ease your discomfort.
2. Meredith Van Ness: Psychotherapist And Life Coach
Meredith Van Ness is a Licensed Psychotherapist (LCSW), Life Coach, and Sleep Behavior Specialist with over two decades of experience helping individuals navigate stress, anxiety, sleep disorders, and life transitions. Founder of Balanced + Well, Meredith integrates traditional therapeutic techniques with innovative coaching strategies to provide lasting, meaningful change. Specializing in building self-esteem, coping skills, and confidence, she is dedicated to empowering her clients to create a life they truly love. Her approach focuses on balance and intentional living, offering support, guidance, and accountability for lasting transformation. Visit Meredith Van Ness to know more about her.
Her Advice To Manage Social Anxiety:
Managing social anxiety effectively starts with baby steps. Begin by exposing yourself to smaller social situations, like chatting with a friend or attending a low-key gathering. Gradually building up your exposure can help increase your confidence over time. Additionally, reframing negative thoughts is crucial. When you catch yourself spiraling into self-doubt, pause and ask, “Is this thought really true?” This helps create distance between your feelings and reality. Lastly, prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that ground you, such as exercise or mindfulness practices, to help you feel more balanced and ready to tackle social interactions.
How mindfulness and CBT can play a role in overcoming it?
Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are powerful tools for managing social anxiety. Mindfulness encourages you to stay present and observe your thoughts without judgment, helping you recognize anxious thoughts as just thoughts—not facts. This awareness creates space for more rational thinking. CBT complements this by teaching you to identify and challenge distorted thinking patterns. For instance, instead of assuming everyone is judging you, CBT helps you examine the evidence for that belief. Over time, this process helps transform anxious thoughts into more neutral or even positive ones, significantly reducing anxiety and boosting confidence in social situations. Feel free to adjust any part of these answers or let me know if you need further modifications!
3. Dana Hall: Professional Counselor
Dana Hall is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) with over 15 years of experience, specializing in trauma, anxiety, and relational issues. She holds advanced certifications, including Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP-II) and Certified Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (ICATP). Dana is passionate about helping individuals create meaningful, lasting change through tailored, evidence-based treatment. She currently works in private practice in the Chicago suburbs. Visit Danal Hall to know more about her.
Her Advice To Manage Social Anxiety:
I want to start by reminding folks that anxiety is not only normal, it’s deeply rooted in our biology. Anxiety is an evolutionary response that’s designed to protect us. When our ancestors faced real threats—like predators—anxiety triggered the “fight, flight, or freeze” response, giving them the best chance of survival. Fast forward to today, and while we may not be running from lions, our bodies still react in a similar way to modern-day stressors. Social situations, in particular, can trigger this heightened response, as our brain misinterprets social cues as potential dangers.
In my work as a clinician, I’ve found that managing social anxiety requires a combination of practical strategies and mindset shifts. One of the most effective approaches is exposure therapy, which means gradually facing feared social situations in small, manageable steps. The key here is honoring your pace and paying attention to the self-talk that comes up along the way. Often, we’ll find automatic negative thoughts popping up, like “Everyone will judge me!” This is where cognitive restructuring comes into play—challenging those thoughts and reframing them. The reality is, that most people are far more focused on themselves than on judging us. And spoiler alert: they usually don’t notice at all!
Mindfulness also plays a crucial role in managing social anxiety. Staying present in the moment can prevent your mind from spiraling into worst-case scenarios. A simple but effective technique I recommend is the “5-4-3-2-1” grounding exercise. This quick practice shifts your attention from anxious thoughts to the present by focusing on your senses: five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It’s a powerful way to reset your mind when anxiety spikes.
Another tool I encourage is taking what I like to call “introvert breaks.” If you’re feeling overwhelmed in a social situation, give yourself permission to step away. Go outside for a breath of fresh air or find a quiet spot to regroup. You don’t need to push yourself to the point of panic. A big piece of the work we do is on self-awareness and knowing our limits so take care of yourself first and then re-engaging when you feel ready.
Positive thinking is another key strategy for reframing anxious narratives. Instead of telling yourself, “I’m going to embarrass myself,” shift to a more compassionate perspective like, “I’m learning, and it’s okay to be imperfect.” A helpful reminder here is the idea that “A chair is just a chair—we are the ones who give meaning to it.” This quote, inspired by Jean-Paul Sartre’s existential philosophy, illustrates that situations themselves don’t carry inherent meaning—it’s our interpretation that creates our emotional response. By changing how we interpret anxious thoughts, we can shift how we feel. When you blend exposure, mindfulness, and positive thinking, you begin to build resilience. Over time, those once-intimidating social situations lose their power, and before you know it, you’re navigating them with more ease and confidence.
4. Faith Dulin: Licensed Psychotherapist
Faith Dulin is a skilled Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) with a strong background in Psychology and Sociology. Bringing over 20 years of experience, she specializes in relationship dynamics, effective communication, and fostering healthy relationships, including the one with yourself. Known for her “gently direct” counseling style, she blends comprehensive clinical expertise with a compassionate approach to help clients develop self-awareness and achieve personal growth. Passionate about creating meaningful change, she aims to empower individuals, couples, and families to break unproductive cycles and embrace their best lives. Visit Harmony Psychotherapy to know more about her.
Her Advice To Manage Social Anxiety:
To help manage social anxiety, visualize the event or gathering beforehand. Imagine yourself walking in with confidence and smiling while others smile back in greeting. Think back to previous social exchanges and remember how much fun it’s been in the moment to meet new friends and connect with other people who share similar interests or have interesting stories to tell. The amazing friendships you have now, all started out as strangers, but you were able to push through the initial uncertainty and discover several relatable points.
As anxious thoughts come up for you in anticipation of socializing, be curious about them instead of condemning or critical. See if you can identify the secondary emotions underneath your anxiety. Is it insecurity, fear of judgement, feelings of inferiority, or not feeling good enough? Do you feel these emotions in any specific area of your body? Mindfulness can help soothe your nervous system, with simple techniques like taking deep breaths when thinking of upcoming events or arriving at social engagements. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four, hold for a second and then exhale for a count of five. Taking a few deep breaths activates the body’s relaxation response which lowers your heart rate, reduces muscle tension and releases mood boosting endorphins.
Pick a few specific affirmations to recite when you notice social anxiety coming up for you, such as I am confident, I am likable, I am friendly, and I enjoy connecting with others. This will help combat the automatic negative thinking that fuels anxious thoughts.
Above all, be present in the moment! If you become aware of racing thoughts or increased anxiety in social settings, try to ground yourself by identifying three things you hear in the environment and then look around and capture four things you didn’t notice when you first arrived.
5. Robin Mclntire: Life and Transitions Coach
She is a certified Life and Transitions Coach. She works with ambitious women who have gotten off track in their personal or professional lives or are going through a major life shift. Many of her clients are feeling stuck in unwanted habits, all-or-nothing thinking, or are looking to get some passion they’ve lost along the way. She helps them get clarity, shifts their perspectives and routines, and gives them powerful tools to return to their confident way of being and a life they love. Visit Robin Mcintire to know more about her.
Her Advice To Manage Social Anxiety:
Social anxiety can be managed by staying connected to yourself, remembering your strengths, and remembering that you deserve to be seen and heard.
It’s a mindset that requires a strong self-awareness and a willingness to practice powerful thoughts that serve you.
Tips:
1. Whenever possible, schedule a few minutes of white space before you go so you can get grounded and set your intentions.
In that white space, close your eyes, practice slow, deep breaths, and imagine yourself confidently entering the room. You’re standing tall and making eye contact with anyone you converse with. Think of locking arms with your higher self and deciding that you’ll come out with at least one thing to make you glad you went.
2. Be more interested in learning about others than talking about yourself. One of the best ways to connect with others is to witness them; people like to feel seen.
3. Believe that you are one that others want to get to know because if they’re your people, they will want to get to know you!
4. Expect good things, AND be unattached to the outcome! (This is a great way to practice working your side of the street. YOU get to choose how you show up and allow others to show up how they will.)
How mindfulness and positive thinking can play a role in overcoming it?
Mindfulness and positive thinking are key in helping with social anxiety because they help our brain stay calm and trust instead of operating from fear and doubt. They have a calming effect, so our brain can relax and trust in the process.
What we think influences how we feel-
How we feel influences what we do and how we show up.
When we set intentions with positive thoughts, images, and self-talk, our subconscious mind can work to find evidence to prove us right!
For this to work, we must practice staying grounded in our body and not let fear and doubt get the best of us.
When we believe that we’re just as worthy as those around us, we can show up more powerfully and make a bigger difference in the lives of those we interact with.
6. Cleo Martel: Professional Counselor
She is passionate about helping individuals, couples, and families navigate a wide range of life’s challenges. provides a compassionate and understanding space for clients to explore their concerns and work towards personal growth. Works with a diverse range of clients, whether they are struggling with anxiety, unhealthy patterns of behavior, relationship issues, or parental challenges. Specialized in supporting clients with pregnancy loss, anxiety, and relationship difficulties, and have a particular focus on working with parents and couples. Visit Calm to know more about her.
Her Advice To Manage Social Anxiety:
Social anxiety can feel all-consuming, leaving individuals feeling trapped in a cycle of fear and self-doubt. Yet, with targeted strategies and a willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone, it is entirely possible to reduce its hold. As a counsellor, I frequently recommend a combination of practical strategies that allow clients to manage social anxiety effectively. Two essential tools in this journey are mindfulness and positive thinking, which provide a foundation for navigating anxiety with greater resilience and self-compassion.
1. Gradual Exposure: Taking Small Steps Towards Confidence
One of the most effective techniques for managing social anxiety is graded exposure, or gradually facing anxiety-inducing situations in small, manageable steps. Start with less intimidating interactions, such as brief conversations with a friend, and progressively work up to more challenging situations. This gradual approach reduces the shock of confronting fears and builds confidence in navigating social scenarios over time.
2. Challenging Negative Thought Patterns
Negative thinking, especially around personal inadequacy or fear of judgement often fuels social anxiety. One helpful approach is cognitive restructuring, which involves identifying and questioning these automatic thoughts. For example, if you often think, “I will say something foolish,” try reframing it to, “Even if I stumble, people will understand.” Replacing negative assumptions with balanced, more compassionate thoughts can lessen the fear of social situations, shifting the mindset from dread to openness.
3. Practising Mindfulness: Staying Grounded in the Present
Mindfulness can be transformative in managing social anxiety by grounding you in the present moment, rather than allowing the mind to dwell on worst-case scenarios or past mishaps. Practising mindfulness techniques—such as focusing on your breath, noticing physical sensations, or gently observing your thoughts—can help you remain calm and centred. This can significantly reduce anxiety’s intensity and prevent it from escalating. Mindfulness also allows you to observe your thoughts without judgement, which can disrupt the automatic, negative thought patterns that often trigger social anxiety.
4. Positive Visualisation and Affirmations
Using positive thinking techniques, such as visualisation and affirmations, can help build a more constructive internal dialogue. Try to visualise successful social interactions: imagine yourself speaking confidently and receiving positive feedback. Additionally, repeating affirmations like “I am worthy of being heard” or “I bring value to conversations” reinforces a positive self-view, gradually replacing self-doubt with self-assurance. Positive thinking doesn’t ignore the anxiety but shifts the focus to your strengths, helping you approach social situations with a more confident outlook.
5. Breathing Exercises: Regaining Control of Your Body
Social anxiety often triggers a physical response, such as increased heart rate or shallow breathing. Deep breathing exercises can counteract this. Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique: inhale for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. This technique activates the body’s relaxation response, providing a sense of calm even in high-stress situations. Regular practice of breathing exercises can also help you feel more in control when faced with social interactions.
6. Mindfulness and Positive Thinking: The Path to Change
Mindfulness and positive thinking are not quick fixes but are transformative approaches to dealing with social anxiety. Mindfulness helps break the cycle of worry by focusing on the present, while positive thinking allows a shift from a critical inner voice to one of encouragement. Together, these techniques create a foundation for sustainable growth, helping you develop resilience and confidence in social situations.
Social anxiety may be challenging, but these strategies offer effective, accessible ways to manage it. By incorporating mindfulness, positive thinking, and gradual exposure into your daily life, you can take significant steps towards overcoming social anxiety and building a more fulfilling, connected life.
Now It’s Your Turn
Managing social anxiety is a journey that requires self-compassion, patience, and a commitment to change. By integrating expert-recommended strategies—like mindfulness, positive thinking, and gradual exposure—into daily routines, you can overcome fears and cultivate deeper connections with others.
We encourage you to take the first step by trying out these practical tips. Whether it’s practicing deep breathing during a stressful moment or reframing a negative thought, every effort counts. Have you used any of these strategies before? Or do you have your own tips to share?
We’d love to hear from you! Share your experiences or thoughts in the comments section below. Your journey might inspire someone else to take their first step toward managing social anxiety. Let’s build a supportive community together!
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Meredith Van Ness says
Great article! Thanks for including me in it.
Biz Cush says
So much great information here! I was honored to be included in this article to help those struggling with social anxiety!